I have a distinct memory of an African man looking at me through the open tread staircase we had when I was just able to clamber up and down the stairs as a toddler. He was using his hands and arms to fill the gaps as I went. There was also a man who stood by my wardrobe at night. We lived in Switzerland then. We moved there when I was 2. Dad was a diplomat. I started having dreams about a past life during the French Revolution then and woke crying and screaming. Dad came to cuddle me and I told him all about it. Years later in fact 2 weeks before he passed, he told me about what a weird child I'd been, telling him right from 2 years old all about other lives, getting him to lie on the grass and listen to the Earth's heartbeat and when I'd taken him to meet the fairies in the wood opposite and he'd seen them too. My childhood was a bit wild as my Mum didn't care for me well, my half-brother was severely epileptic and Dad was often away working. We lived in Switzerland until I was 6. It was hot in summer and I toddled about in just my knickers, foraging for food, wandering over the road on my own, into the woods to play with fairies. My hair was long and matted and it was only the fact that we moved to Switzerland that avoided me going into care like my half-brother had as a little boy and my sister whom I only found out about when Mum died. I was sexually abused by a friend of the family from 3 years old.

We moved back to England when I was 6 and into a ruin of an Essex country farmhouse which my parents renovated. It was, and still is because I've spoken with subsequent owners, as haunted as anything. Fortunately my own Spirit Friends were well known to me, so I had their support, but life in the house was still extremely disturbing. The abuse stopped too, which was great of course, but an invisible baby crying at night, doors opening and closing on their own, lights and the TV and the phone switching on and off and ringing etc. is disconcerting when you're little and as an adult come to that. I was levitated for the first time. I have some stories!

We rented the house out although tenants did not stay long in our house built in 1311, added to in 1483 and added to at various times from then onwards. No wonder. We moved to Belgium when I was 9 and came back when I was 14. There was some abuse again until I punched him but psychically, things were quieter. I had a pretty awful time at school right from the word go. I didn't fit. I was always the foreign strange kid and I had very few friends. It was easier to be friends with my Guides. I realized that no one else could see them, but that was OK. I became deeply interested in the imbalances in society at about 11 and concerned about environmental issues and nature. Religion and belief systems fascinated me. I wanted to be either a Nun or a Spy, I couldn't decide! I had a serious accident on a school trip, damaging my spine, legs and several internal organs.

At 14, we were back in the haunted house. Dad worked away a lot and Mum often didn't bother with me. I missed months of school and took to walking for miles and horse riding. Serious mistake! I had several falls from horses, the last one involving going over the horse's head and landing on my already problematic back, over a boulder. This impacted massively on my life resulting in disability, pain and restriction. I received no medical care whatsoever. Mum just did nothing and as with so many times in my life before and subsequently, I had to recover as best I could on my own. I have a very high pain threshold and I hide my discomfort well. It has taught me a lot about patience and compassion but I wouldn't recommend it as a course of action!

You've probably realized by now that Mum was mentally ill. She spent a lot of time as a child in a Mental Institution. How anyone let her have custody of me, I don't know but she was devious and very cruel. I only discovered the truth when her Psychiatrist rang me when I was first married. We had a frank conversation. Mum was a Paranoid Schizophrenic Alcoholic and was criminally insane. Weirdly, she was great with other people's kids and animals! I don't blame her for her cruelty. She couldn't help it. Dad was a good bloke although he was violent occasionally. He was frustrated and also a closet gay, coming out when I was in my 30's.

The spooky scary stuff carried on and I carried on being aware but not sure what it was for. Then a friend of my half-brother turned up, who had been a Medium from age 16. He helped. I joined a Spiritualist Circle with him and we married in 1982. I served Churches with him and started sitting for Trance and Physical Mediumship. When our boys arrived, we baby sat whilst the other worked. My Spiritualist life has been eventful but also very painful. There are some horrible people in Spiritualism with no ethics or compassion. Jealousy and competition is rife. I was probably one of the most qualified Mediums there was at one point. Now, I describe myself as a Shamanic Medium. I work wherever I'm needed. I'm finally married to a man who actually loves me. He doesn't need other women or alcohol, which my 2 previous husbands did. I have embraced my Shamanic self and studied ethics in other religions. I've been a Medium for 42 years and a Healer for longer. I love to teach very much and write.